February, 2009
Alternative energy
Power generation without fossil fuels. Typically wind, wave, solar and geothermal. Plants, algae, human sewage and cow poo are being tested. But it’s not like we’re desperate or anything.
Biodynamic agriculture
Emphasises compost and lunar planting calendars, instead of chemical sprays and fertilisers. Practitioners stuff a cow horn full of cow poo and bury it to create super-powered fertiliser, honestly.
Bioaccumulation
Toxic substances which build up in plants, animals and us. The odd bit of pesticide may not harm you directly, but eventually Kiwi blokes may develop man-boobs and a fondness for Abba records.
Carbon footprint
The total greenhouse gas emissions caused directly and indirectly by an individual, organisation, event or product, roughly equivalent to how guilty you are supposed to feel about it.
Carbon Offsets
A credit bought to negate part of a carbon footprint. Should cover the cost of additional measures to reduce worldwide carbon emissions, which come into effect as soon as possible. Described by author George Monbiot as akin to medieval religious ‘indulgences’ payments to atone for sins the sinner has no intention of giving up.
Carcinogen
Any cancer producing substance. So many are discovered each week it is increasingly likely that life gives you cancer the same way rain and time give rust to a bicycle.
Climate change
Long-term significant changes in expected patterns of average weather on Earth. Sometimes called global warming, although some places could get colder. Increasingly termed ‘Global Weirding’ as no one has much of a clue what’s happening.
Eco-tourism
A hotel with recycling bins. Rapidly becoming extinction tourism, as we race round the globe taking photos of things our children will never see because of all the pollution caused by international travel.
Eco-worrier
What we become when it takes 15 minutes for us to analyse the global ecological and humanitarian impact of buying a tin of spaghetti.
Emissions trading
Buying and selling the supposedly limited rights to emit greenhouse gasses that contribute to global warming. The modern, adult version of shuffling Brussel’s sprouts around your plate, or giving them to your little brother because you can’t face eating them yourself.
Extinction
Dead as a dodo. If the animal is cuddly or cute enough, humans will leave just enough of whatever it is for David Attenborough to whisper at. If it’s an insect – no chance.
Freecycle
Online jumble sale at www.freecycle.org, without the sale. Give away stuff you don’t need; claim free stuff you may or may not, on reflection, discover you need. If you are lucky, this may indeed include a free bicycle.
Fossil fuels
The P-pipe of the industrialised world. Coal, oil and gas, formed from the fossilised remains of plants and animals over hundreds of millions of years. Burning them has made life so easy we struggle to leave them alone, even though they keep us divorced from reality and wreck our health and relationships. (see greenhouse gases and climate change).
Greenhouse gases
Gases which trap the heat in the Earth’s atmosphere like a fart under a duvet. Human activities are releasing more into the atmosphere than ever before – and our duvet is getting very stinky indeed. (see climate change)
Recycle (incorporating downcycle)
The separation and collection of materials for processing, remanufacturing and use as new products. What normally happens is ‘downcycling’, where the resulting product is less valuable than the one you started with. Upcycling, on the other hand, is about making more valuable products from less valuable pre-used materials.
Self-sufficiency
The ability to provide all of your needs yourself, without the help of others. Unlikely in a civilisation breakdown scenario: you have potatoes, your neighbours don’t have potatoes, they steal your potatoes when you’re not looking.
Sustainable
An activity which can be continued indefinitely at its current rate and scale. These days this is taken to mean without irreparable environmental harm or compromising opportunities for future generations. You can have your cake and eat it, provided you are growing all the ingredients to make another cake without polluting the garden.
Toxin
A poisonous substance produced by living cells or organisms capable of causing disease. Some commentators on Radio Live qualify. (see also Bioaccumulation)